Elliot (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
windychimes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
helpyoufly2011-03-11 11:02 pm
windychimes) wrote in helpyoufly2011-03-11 11:02 pm
This Human Disease Called Friendship (Homestuck; Sollux/Karkat)
Title: This Human Disease Called Friendship
Word Count: 1440
Character/Pairing: Sollux/Karkat
Warnings: None
Notes: Trollian format
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: KK lii2ten up.
CG: WHAT.
CG: WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY WANT TO LISTEN TO.
CG: OH THAT’S RIGHT.
CG: NOTHING.
TA: 2eriious2ly 2hut up and lii2ten.
CG: FINE BUT THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
TA: you are 2o melodramatiic 2ometiime2.
TA: okay ii want you two 2et up your viiewport 2o you can 2ee me.
CG: OKAY, I CAN SEE YOU.
TA: good ii can 2ee you two.
TA: okay don’t fliip out at what ii am about two a2k.
CG: WHY DOES EVERYONE ASSUME I’LL FLIP MY SHIT?
CG: MY SHIT DOES NOT NEED FLIPPING. IT IS PERFECTLY FINE WHERE IT IS.
CG: LOOK AT IT. IT IS JUST SITTING, NOT FUCKING FLIPPED.
CG: YOU GODDAMN BULGESUCKERS ALWAYS ASSUME THE WORST.
CG: YOU ARE A STAIN ON GOD’S UNDERWEAR.
CG: A GIGANTIC SHITSTAIN.
TA: 2ee thii2 ii2 what ii wa2 talkiing about.
TA: you go crazy about everythiing.
TA: thii2 is why no one want2 two talk two you.
CG: GOGDAMNIT JUST ASK ME YOUR STUPID QUESTION ALREADY.
CG: WE ARE NOT HAVING A HATE ME PARTY BECAUSE I ALREADY DO THAT ON MY OWN.
CG: GOD.
TA: alriight alriight calm down already.
TA: ii need you two take off your pant2.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has blocked twinArmageddons [TA]
TA: you are 2o melodramatiic.
twinArmageddons [TA] has began trolling carcinoGeneticist [TA]
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.
CG: SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?
CG: JESUS CHRIST YOU ARE FUCKED UP.
TA: 2hut up and lii2ten KK.
TA: ii can’t come over two your hiive all the tiime iif we need two fuck.
CG: WE AGREED TO NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN.
CG: IT WAS ONE TIME AND WE FUCKING AGREED TO NEVER TALK ABOUT IT.
CG: YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING FRIEND.
CG: EVEN GAMZEE IS A BETTER FRIEND THAN YOU AND HE IS A FUCKING RETARD. IF HE MENTIONS HIS MESSIAHS ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR I AM GOING TO DO A FUCKING ACROBATIC PIROUTTE OFF THE FUCKING HANDLE.
TA: just fuckiing lii2ten.
TA: 2top being 2uch a grub for a moment and get your head out of your a22.
TA: ii am not asking you two be my mate2priite.
TA: ii can’t fuck you riight now 2o just take off your fuckiing pant2.
CG: JESUS CHRIST YOU ARE BEYOND AWFUL.
CG: THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU NUBSLURPING FREAK.
TA: you are 2uch a grub 2ometiime2.
CG: I TOOK THEM OFF, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
TA: iit’2 a 2tart.
TA: now ii want you two touch your2elf.
CG: YOU CANNOT BE FUCKING SERIOUS.
CG: THIS IS ALL SOME SICK JOKE ISN’T IT?
CG: YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME DO SOMETHING EMBARRASSING SO WE CAN ALL HAVE A LAUGH AT KARKAT PARTY LATER.
TA: KK you are 2o 2tupiid.
CG: WHATEVER.
CG: I’M NOT TOUCHING MYSELF.
TA: je2u2 do you need me two get you iin the mood or 2omethiing.
CG: I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY.
CG: I BET YOU SUCK AT IT.
TA: you 2hould count your2elf lucky that ii am so magnaniimou2.
TA: ii take your bulge iin my hand and begiin two 2troke iit.
CG: WE ARE NOT CYBERING.
CG: NO FUCKING WAY.
TA: 2hut your goddamn 2eedflap and let me do thii2.
TA: you’re 2tiill 2oft 2o ii gently run my fiinger2 acro22 the head.
TA: iit twiitche2 iin my hand and ii know you’re 2tarting two liike thii2.
CG: NEVER.
TA: ii have the viiewport on moron.
TA: you could fuckiing poke 2omeone’2 eye out wiith iit right now.
CG: FUCK.
TA: ii lower my mouth down to your bone bulge and liick iit from ba2e to tiip.
CG: HNNG.
TA: you do iit two KK iit doe2nt work wiith ju2t one per2on.
CG: FINE.
CG: I PRESS MY BIG FUCKING BULGE INTO YOUR LISPY WHORE MOUTH AND MAKE YOU SUCK.
TA: 2eriiou2ly KK do you want two do thii2 or not.
TA: ii can leave anytime.
CG: FINE, FINE.
CG: I’M GOING TO BE NICE TO YOU AND NOT CHOKE YOU AND LET YOU DECIDE THE PACE OR SOME BULLSHIT.
TA: good.
TA: ii liick at the head for now ju2t two tea2e you.
TA: you're 2o hard and whine liike a liitle grub and beg me for more.
CG: I WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
TA: ju2t go wiith iit.
CG: THIS IS WHY YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND.
CG: UGH.
CG: I DON’T WHINE LIKE A LITTLE GRUB AND BEG FOR MORE. INSTEAD I SLIDE MY BULGE FARTHER INTO YOUR MOUTH, YOU FUCKING TEASE.
CG: AND WATCH YOUR FANGS.
TA: ii am careful wiith my fang2 2o ii dont hurt you and ii take more of you iinto my mouth.
CG: FUCK THAT’S GOOD.
TA: ii reach down two 2troke your ball2 as ii 2wiirl my tongue around your bulge.
CG: FUCK KEEP DOING THAT.
CG: I PRESS MY BULGE FURTHER IN UNTIL IT TOUCHES YOUR THROAT.
CG: BUT YOU’RE A BIG SLUT SO I KNOW YOU CAN TAKE IT.
TA: you are 2o abu2iive.
TA: but ii let you do iit anyway becau2e otherwii2e you’ll whiine.
TA: like always.
TA: ii bob my head up and down on iit.
CG: YES.
CG: I THRUST INTO YOUR HOT MOUTH AND GOD IT FEELS AMAZING.
TA: ii know you’re getting clo2e 2o ii pull back and pull you onto the floor.
TA: ii piin you down and get 2ome lotiion on my hand.
TA: 2tiil rubbiing your bulge a liitle ii 2liide a fiinger iin2iide you.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK SOLLUX.
CG: WE ARE NOT DOING THIS.
TA: you owe me thii2 KK.
TA: 2top pretendiing you dont enjoy iit.
CG: WORST FRIEND EVER.
TA: you really like thii2 2o ii 2aw iit back and forth iinside of you.
TA: but ii make 2ure not two hurt you.
CG: THIS IS SO DUMB.
CG: BUT WHATEVER I GUESS I LET YOU FUCK ME OR SOME SHIT.
TA: what do you want me two do?
TA: do you like iit rough or 2omethiing.
CG: GOD NO OF COURSE NOT.
CG: DEFINITELY NOT.
TA: eheheheh.
TA: ii am fiinger fuckiing you really hard now and ii know you love it.
CG: HNNG.
TA: ii have a 2econd fiinger iin now and ii barely giive you tiime to adju2t two iit.
CG: I ROCK BACK ON YOUR FINGERS AND FUCK IT FEELS GOOD.
TA: ii knew you would liike iit.
TA: ii pull my fiinger2 out and ii put lotiion on my bulge.
TA: are you ready two have your braiin2 fucked out.
CG: YES YES HURRY UP.
TA: ii pu2h iinto your tiight a22.
TA: iit ii2 fuckiing awe2ome.
CG: HURRY UP ALREADY.
TA: 2top being 2o iimpatiient.
TA: typiing one handed ii2nt ea2y.
CG: I’M SURPRISED YOU’RE NOT A MASTER AT IT ALREADY.
TA: we both know you 2pend all day 2trokiing your bulge KK.
CG: CAN WE JUST MOVE ON ALREADY?
TA: whatever.
TA: ii don’t let you get u2ed to my biig bulge and 2tart thru2tiing riight away.
CG: AAH THAT’S GOOD.
CG: I PUSH BACK ON YOU, LETTING YOU FUCK ME HARD.
TA: yeah that’2 good.
TA: ii get a good rhythm worked up and keep 2lamiing iinto you.
TA: ii grab your bulge and 2troke iit becau2e ii am goiing to fiinii2h 2oon.
CG: GODDAMN THAT’S GOOD.
CG: FUCK FUCK I AM SO CLOSE DON’T YOU DARE FUCK STOP.
TA: ii keep ramiing iinto you but ii can’t hold iit anymore.
TA: ii come riight into your tiight a22.
CG: OH FUCK I COME TOO, RIDING YOUR BULGE UNTIL I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
CG: OH FUCK THAT WAS GOOD.
CG: THAT WAS REALLY FUCKING GOOD.
TA: you 2hould lii2ten two me more often.
TA: youre much more agreeable after thii2.
TA: KK are you there.
CG: SHIT SHIT SHIT.
CG: YOU USED YOUR MIND POWERS TO MAKE ME DO THIS DIDN’T YOU?
TA: ii told you ii can’t get iinto your mind.
TA: and ii’m not fuckiing vriiska. ii can’t make you do anything.
CG: SHUT UP I KNOW YOU DID.
CG: YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND EVER.
CG: WE ARE DELETING THIS LOG AND THIS IS NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling twinArmageddons [AT]
TA: dude you are 2o melodramatiic.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has began trolling twinArmageddons [AT]
CG: WAIT, ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
TA: you a2k me that every siingle tiime KK.
TA: what do you thiink.
CG: I THINK YOU’RE STUPID.
CG: AND THIS IS THE LAST TIME THIS WILL EVER HAPPEN.
TA: whatever you 2ay dude.
TA: ju2t complaiin le22 next tiime.
CG: GOD I CANNOT STAND YOU.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]
Word Count: 1440
Character/Pairing: Sollux/Karkat
Warnings: None
Notes: Trollian format
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: KK lii2ten up.
CG: WHAT.
CG: WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY WANT TO LISTEN TO.
CG: OH THAT’S RIGHT.
CG: NOTHING.
TA: 2eriious2ly 2hut up and lii2ten.
CG: FINE BUT THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
TA: you are 2o melodramatiic 2ometiime2.
TA: okay ii want you two 2et up your viiewport 2o you can 2ee me.
CG: OKAY, I CAN SEE YOU.
TA: good ii can 2ee you two.
TA: okay don’t fliip out at what ii am about two a2k.
CG: WHY DOES EVERYONE ASSUME I’LL FLIP MY SHIT?
CG: MY SHIT DOES NOT NEED FLIPPING. IT IS PERFECTLY FINE WHERE IT IS.
CG: LOOK AT IT. IT IS JUST SITTING, NOT FUCKING FLIPPED.
CG: YOU GODDAMN BULGESUCKERS ALWAYS ASSUME THE WORST.
CG: YOU ARE A STAIN ON GOD’S UNDERWEAR.
CG: A GIGANTIC SHITSTAIN.
TA: 2ee thii2 ii2 what ii wa2 talkiing about.
TA: you go crazy about everythiing.
TA: thii2 is why no one want2 two talk two you.
CG: GOGDAMNIT JUST ASK ME YOUR STUPID QUESTION ALREADY.
CG: WE ARE NOT HAVING A HATE ME PARTY BECAUSE I ALREADY DO THAT ON MY OWN.
CG: GOD.
TA: alriight alriight calm down already.
TA: ii need you two take off your pant2.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has blocked twinArmageddons [TA]
TA: you are 2o melodramatiic.
twinArmageddons [TA] has began trolling carcinoGeneticist [TA]
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.
CG: SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?
CG: JESUS CHRIST YOU ARE FUCKED UP.
TA: 2hut up and lii2ten KK.
TA: ii can’t come over two your hiive all the tiime iif we need two fuck.
CG: WE AGREED TO NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN.
CG: IT WAS ONE TIME AND WE FUCKING AGREED TO NEVER TALK ABOUT IT.
CG: YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING FRIEND.
CG: EVEN GAMZEE IS A BETTER FRIEND THAN YOU AND HE IS A FUCKING RETARD. IF HE MENTIONS HIS MESSIAHS ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR I AM GOING TO DO A FUCKING ACROBATIC PIROUTTE OFF THE FUCKING HANDLE.
TA: just fuckiing lii2ten.
TA: 2top being 2uch a grub for a moment and get your head out of your a22.
TA: ii am not asking you two be my mate2priite.
TA: ii can’t fuck you riight now 2o just take off your fuckiing pant2.
CG: JESUS CHRIST YOU ARE BEYOND AWFUL.
CG: THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU NUBSLURPING FREAK.
TA: you are 2uch a grub 2ometiime2.
CG: I TOOK THEM OFF, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
TA: iit’2 a 2tart.
TA: now ii want you two touch your2elf.
CG: YOU CANNOT BE FUCKING SERIOUS.
CG: THIS IS ALL SOME SICK JOKE ISN’T IT?
CG: YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME DO SOMETHING EMBARRASSING SO WE CAN ALL HAVE A LAUGH AT KARKAT PARTY LATER.
TA: KK you are 2o 2tupiid.
CG: WHATEVER.
CG: I’M NOT TOUCHING MYSELF.
TA: je2u2 do you need me two get you iin the mood or 2omethiing.
CG: I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY.
CG: I BET YOU SUCK AT IT.
TA: you 2hould count your2elf lucky that ii am so magnaniimou2.
TA: ii take your bulge iin my hand and begiin two 2troke iit.
CG: WE ARE NOT CYBERING.
CG: NO FUCKING WAY.
TA: 2hut your goddamn 2eedflap and let me do thii2.
TA: you’re 2tiill 2oft 2o ii gently run my fiinger2 acro22 the head.
TA: iit twiitche2 iin my hand and ii know you’re 2tarting two liike thii2.
CG: NEVER.
TA: ii have the viiewport on moron.
TA: you could fuckiing poke 2omeone’2 eye out wiith iit right now.
CG: FUCK.
TA: ii lower my mouth down to your bone bulge and liick iit from ba2e to tiip.
CG: HNNG.
TA: you do iit two KK iit doe2nt work wiith ju2t one per2on.
CG: FINE.
CG: I PRESS MY BIG FUCKING BULGE INTO YOUR LISPY WHORE MOUTH AND MAKE YOU SUCK.
TA: 2eriiou2ly KK do you want two do thii2 or not.
TA: ii can leave anytime.
CG: FINE, FINE.
CG: I’M GOING TO BE NICE TO YOU AND NOT CHOKE YOU AND LET YOU DECIDE THE PACE OR SOME BULLSHIT.
TA: good.
TA: ii liick at the head for now ju2t two tea2e you.
TA: you're 2o hard and whine liike a liitle grub and beg me for more.
CG: I WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
TA: ju2t go wiith iit.
CG: THIS IS WHY YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND.
CG: UGH.
CG: I DON’T WHINE LIKE A LITTLE GRUB AND BEG FOR MORE. INSTEAD I SLIDE MY BULGE FARTHER INTO YOUR MOUTH, YOU FUCKING TEASE.
CG: AND WATCH YOUR FANGS.
TA: ii am careful wiith my fang2 2o ii dont hurt you and ii take more of you iinto my mouth.
CG: FUCK THAT’S GOOD.
TA: ii reach down two 2troke your ball2 as ii 2wiirl my tongue around your bulge.
CG: FUCK KEEP DOING THAT.
CG: I PRESS MY BULGE FURTHER IN UNTIL IT TOUCHES YOUR THROAT.
CG: BUT YOU’RE A BIG SLUT SO I KNOW YOU CAN TAKE IT.
TA: you are 2o abu2iive.
TA: but ii let you do iit anyway becau2e otherwii2e you’ll whiine.
TA: like always.
TA: ii bob my head up and down on iit.
CG: YES.
CG: I THRUST INTO YOUR HOT MOUTH AND GOD IT FEELS AMAZING.
TA: ii know you’re getting clo2e 2o ii pull back and pull you onto the floor.
TA: ii piin you down and get 2ome lotiion on my hand.
TA: 2tiil rubbiing your bulge a liitle ii 2liide a fiinger iin2iide you.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK SOLLUX.
CG: WE ARE NOT DOING THIS.
TA: you owe me thii2 KK.
TA: 2top pretendiing you dont enjoy iit.
CG: WORST FRIEND EVER.
TA: you really like thii2 2o ii 2aw iit back and forth iinside of you.
TA: but ii make 2ure not two hurt you.
CG: THIS IS SO DUMB.
CG: BUT WHATEVER I GUESS I LET YOU FUCK ME OR SOME SHIT.
TA: what do you want me two do?
TA: do you like iit rough or 2omethiing.
CG: GOD NO OF COURSE NOT.
CG: DEFINITELY NOT.
TA: eheheheh.
TA: ii am fiinger fuckiing you really hard now and ii know you love it.
CG: HNNG.
TA: ii have a 2econd fiinger iin now and ii barely giive you tiime to adju2t two iit.
CG: I ROCK BACK ON YOUR FINGERS AND FUCK IT FEELS GOOD.
TA: ii knew you would liike iit.
TA: ii pull my fiinger2 out and ii put lotiion on my bulge.
TA: are you ready two have your braiin2 fucked out.
CG: YES YES HURRY UP.
TA: ii pu2h iinto your tiight a22.
TA: iit ii2 fuckiing awe2ome.
CG: HURRY UP ALREADY.
TA: 2top being 2o iimpatiient.
TA: typiing one handed ii2nt ea2y.
CG: I’M SURPRISED YOU’RE NOT A MASTER AT IT ALREADY.
TA: we both know you 2pend all day 2trokiing your bulge KK.
CG: CAN WE JUST MOVE ON ALREADY?
TA: whatever.
TA: ii don’t let you get u2ed to my biig bulge and 2tart thru2tiing riight away.
CG: AAH THAT’S GOOD.
CG: I PUSH BACK ON YOU, LETTING YOU FUCK ME HARD.
TA: yeah that’2 good.
TA: ii get a good rhythm worked up and keep 2lamiing iinto you.
TA: ii grab your bulge and 2troke iit becau2e ii am goiing to fiinii2h 2oon.
CG: GODDAMN THAT’S GOOD.
CG: FUCK FUCK I AM SO CLOSE DON’T YOU DARE FUCK STOP.
TA: ii keep ramiing iinto you but ii can’t hold iit anymore.
TA: ii come riight into your tiight a22.
CG: OH FUCK I COME TOO, RIDING YOUR BULGE UNTIL I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
CG: OH FUCK THAT WAS GOOD.
CG: THAT WAS REALLY FUCKING GOOD.
TA: you 2hould lii2ten two me more often.
TA: youre much more agreeable after thii2.
TA: KK are you there.
CG: SHIT SHIT SHIT.
CG: YOU USED YOUR MIND POWERS TO MAKE ME DO THIS DIDN’T YOU?
TA: ii told you ii can’t get iinto your mind.
TA: and ii’m not fuckiing vriiska. ii can’t make you do anything.
CG: SHUT UP I KNOW YOU DID.
CG: YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND EVER.
CG: WE ARE DELETING THIS LOG AND THIS IS NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling twinArmageddons [AT]
TA: dude you are 2o melodramatiic.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has began trolling twinArmageddons [AT]
CG: WAIT, ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
TA: you a2k me that every siingle tiime KK.
TA: what do you thiink.
CG: I THINK YOU’RE STUPID.
CG: AND THIS IS THE LAST TIME THIS WILL EVER HAPPEN.
TA: whatever you 2ay dude.
TA: ju2t complaiin le22 next tiime.
CG: GOD I CANNOT STAND YOU.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]